JUST IN: I'm Not What You Think I Am,Stop Taking Me For Bobrisky,"a 100level Student Crys Out.

I knew my supposed secret was out.

I watched as Chidinma walked past me chatting with Sonia and intentionally raised her voice to make it seem like she was engrossed in whatever discussion they were having.

Despite the judgement and stares I get from other people, I never expected Chidinma to join them but– life is full of surprises and tomorrow's own may be larger. 

I'm not sure you know how it feels to be alone in a community where you look like that patient with Corona who should be quarantined.

No one wants to speak to you because you may just infect them too so they keep not just social distancing but physical distancing too.

You don't know how it feels because you still have people think about you as a good person.

I have been experiencing that since I was 6 and the teacher asked if I was a boy, a girl, or a boy-girl (Tomboy) and the whole class burst out laughing like I was acting in a comedy show before then.

I grew up but never grew out of incidences similar and even more embarrassing than that.

One day, a guy walked up to me and asked a very dirty question I can't even put out here because I have some decency but he meant I should leave my gender alone and follow men.

I know I have physiques that give me out as a male if you don't look closely and you won't blame me when I started hanging out more with guys because of the "you look like a man, joor" I get from my female friends whenever I hang out with them is enough to make me lose confidence in my looks.

So, I found a way of escape – look like what they tagged me.

I started dressing with jeans, but shirt and added swag to my strides just so that I could fit in somewhere.

But, I still see people pass judgement on me through their looks. 

Just yesterday, during our anonymous messages we did in my departmental group, someone with no face said she caught me and another girl in Nuesa toilet doing a thing and that all along she knew I wasn't dressing like a guy for nothing because I hid these secrets under my sleeves.

Nobody bothered to hear my side of the story even though the faceless writer could be fake information and even the so called TVs carried the rumours that I'm into girl.

Now, I get colder stares that freeze me to my insides.

I'm not what you think I am. 

I'm just a girl trying to find somewhere to find a place to fit in.